| time for another emo complaint. |
[Aug. 28th, 2006|02:13 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home and hating it. | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Kot Couture- Dancehall Satan | ] |
Summer's almost over. Less than 48 hours left. Honestly, that's PURE bullshit. I just want to crawl up into Thor's bed and sleep until next summer. I can't stand being in school (without Nick). No one understands how hard it is. I've made the complaint before that people say "Oh, I know how you feel." The day I believe you is the day you tell me your best friend died the nigth before 8th grade graduation. People like to pretend they understand the pain I'm going through each day I go to school. It's not that I don't like learning. I wish I could set goals in my life. I wish I actually wanted to wake up every day and learn something new. I wish I wanted to be something "important" in my life. But something's blocking me. I'm getting sick and tired of people asking me if I'm going to college. You know what, you shouldn't care. You don't have a say. If I don't want to college, I don't have to. By the time I'm old enough to go to college, my parents wont have any say because I'll be 18. There's nothing for me to do in college any way. I want to be a musician. Actually, in all honesty, I don't KNOW what I want to do. I would love to sit home and lay in bed all day. I wouldn't mind getting a job at Dunkin Donuts or Stop and Shop, but I don't want to be a doctor, or lawyer, or dentist. I would hate that. I just want to sleep for a living. I want to be homeschooled. I'll get a job if I'm home schooled and I would probably learn better. Because I wouldn't be caring about anything else. Then the whole topic of homeschooling leads to the arguement of "You wont see your friends." I barely see any of my close friends at school anyways. PLUS It's not like I get to hang with them at school. I don't! I hang out with Jenna and Thor. That's it. I can see them on the weekends.
Whatever dude, forget school, its lame. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 7th, 2006|06:23 pm] |
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i want to quit school and live with thor. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 28th, 2006|09:43 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | my my metrocard | ] |
I STIL HAVEN'T SET UP MY TENT. =(. |
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| Home, sweet, Home. |
[Jul. 12th, 2006|09:26 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my house =( boo. | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | caroline by jefferson starship ft. the laf-o, and j & m | ] |
Me and Jenna bought a tent yesterday. We weren't planning on it. Me, her, my dad, and Thor went to Wal*Mart to look at the tents, figure out which one we wanted, and start saving up for it. My dad offered to buy it, which was a total surprise. We got our tent.. and underwear, wife beaters, bows, and hair gel. I also did a little grocery shopping for a pal. When we got back to my house, we hung out in my room and just screwed around. My dad's friend came over and Jen-jen and Thor wanted to shoot the b-b gun, and I took a shower. I slept over Thor's last night. It was really nice seeing him, after not seeing him for 3 weeks. I actually stayed up super late.. we watched some movies and just talked, etc.
It was nice to see Thor and Jenna at once. We all like to hang out. But I really didn't feel like I got to hang out with them enough. I hung out with Thor all day today, but I still really miss Jenna. =(. Going to New Hampshire with her and her dad is so relaxing. I wish we could go up for longer and every weekend, but it just doesn't work out that way. We're going up again soon. Oh boy.. =).
awwwwww.. i miss jen jen now.
i have to sleep.
p.s. i hate airplanes, no if's, an's, or but's. you cant change my mind.. so don't try.
♥ |
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| Oh-Hi-Oh. (is very very flat!) |
[Jul. 5th, 2006|08:17 pm] |
I've always said I hated flying, even though I never experienced it. I have finally experienced flying and I can now say, Yes, indeed, I hate it. I loved the view of looking above everything. I pretended I was really tall and walking over land that was litered with trash. Because that's what houses look like when you're high in the sky. At take off, I was really nervous. When we got in the air, it was shaky, and we were turning.. I don't like turning. During the flight, the plane went through some clouds. At one point we were over a layer of clouds. That was beautiful. I got really nervous when we drove through clouds and you looked out the window, and all you could see was white. The first thought that popped into my head was, "Where did the ground go?!". Landing wasn't my favorite part ever. I think that I'm going to stick with driving when I have to go somewhere far. The flight was only and hour and fifty minutes, and I have to say it honestly didn't feel that long at all. I listened to my iPod, but I think the pressure clogged my ears ALOT and I could barely hear it. So I only listened to a few songs. I listen to mine and Jenna's (and Laf's) theme song first, and that relaxed me.. alot. I've had the song stuck in my head since Friday, and it is now Wednesday. But, the song DOES NOT get old, which is excellent. I can sit and listen to this song over and over and over again. Which I have been since last night. It's beautiful, and I love it.
Ohio is truly a nice place. The people are nice. Sometimes I feel that it's too nice, and I want to drive through the "slums", but you can't find any around here. In this part of Ohio at least. Today, Heather, Sarah, Chelsea, Morgan, and I went to Kings Island amusement park. I'm so thankful they paid for me, and invited me to go. I'm just not really into the whole large crowd/roller coaster riding thing. I road a few rollercoasters though. After the first one I went on, I grabbed my ear and realized the taper i had in it finally went all the way through. That saved me from alot of pain. Everyone tells me that I can get it through when I'm in the shower. That didn't work too well for me, but riding a rollercoaster did! Now I have one ear left. I think I'm just going to get the taper in a little bit, leave it infor a day or two, then put in a 14 gauge earring for a while. I want to stretch this one slowly because I always have trouble with infections in my right ear.
I have alot of ideas to write something, but I can't seem to grab onto one right now, and write about it. I think I need a nap.
Goodnight. ♥ |
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| Holy Shit. That's it. |
[Jun. 30th, 2006|07:54 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My house.. yay =) | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The birds chirping actually. | ] |
Last night I tried something I have wanted to for about 8 or more months. Those actions lead me to know that I am 100% about a certain thing. I do not regret any of it at all.
No, it was not drugs. Don't worry.
I'm not sure if it's something I want to tell everyone about. I honestly don't think I want many people to know. But I know. It happened. I enjoyed it 150%.
Thank you for this. (You know who/what you are.)
Today, I'm begining my weekend adventure at 9:30. I've got a doctor's appointment at 10,which I am looking forward to and I have to be at Jenna's dad's house between 11 and 11:30. We're heading up to New Hampshire again. I'm so happy that I get to go, but I am bumming out about missing the Punk Fest. I want everyone to go and take pictures and make life size prints and reinact the whole night for me. I'll return from New Hampshire on sunday night. I have two things in mind: Uploading photos and packing.. for another trip. Monday morning I'll be leaving my house at 5 I think and I'll be going to the airport to catch a plane to Ohio. I'm really excited.. but I'm getting anxious about the plane ride. I'm going to miss my mommy on the plane.
Wow.. I just looked out the window and it's fricken beautiful outside. Hopefully it will be like this for the whole weekend.
Well.. I have a breafast to eat, a room to clean, and clothes to pack.
See everyone when I'm back home.
♥♥ |
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| Time to think is not good. |
[Jun. 27th, 2006|04:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home atlast. | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | indifferent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | cashing in- minor threat | ] |
It seems like school has been out forever. I've been so ridiculously busy since the end of school. I enjoy the time off though, but sometimes I wish I didn't have any friends and I could just sit at home by myself and go on the internet all day. I don't think I've had the chance to do that in a long time. Sometimes I try to remember what I've done and I get confused as to which day I've done what. I'm thirsting for an indepth conversation. I'm afraid to start one because I'm always afraid that person has to run out the door. There's one person I can just sit down with and just.. talk. I never see them enough, and I wish I could see them much, much more. Whenever we speak it's usually over the internet and you never know if they're paying full attention or if they're just.. typing. I wish that me and this person lived alot closer together because I would want to hang out with them much more and have endless conversations that are meaningfull and not pointless or ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, the occasional ridiculous conversation is rather enjoyable, but when you have them all the time, (Well, me, atleast) I feel wastefull and meaningless. Sometimes I go along time without that "in-depth" conversation and I just BLOW up and write a rather long journal entry. Sometimes I don't even care if people read it. Then I think "Maybe if no one's reading it, I should stop writing." I feel crazy.. as if I'm writing to myself. Maybe I am writing to myself. I guess it could be a good thing to have, just so one day I can look back and read it and figure out what could've helped. I wish I could look back at the present and see what will help.
My summer adventures began Thursday, June 15, the last day of school. I walked to my old school with a group of friends, and we visited our teachers from last year, and helped with some simple tasks that needed to be done. I felt akward that day because the last day of school last year was one of the most difficult days I've ever lived through. I had to get through that day telling myself that everything was alright and nothing was going to happen. Thank someone, nothing did happen. I saw Heather.. that made me happy. Her, Sarah and I went to the graduation and it was nice. A little emotional, but nothing to make me show emotions. (Which is probably unhealthy). Heather and Sarah went back to my house and slept over. The next morning, I spiked my hair and Jenna came to my house. Heather and Sarah left, and Jenna and I went to Ellis Tech to meet up with her dad. We left for New Hampshire about 2 in the afternoon. It was so beautiful and relaxing. We took a few hikes that were tiring and hot, but in the end refreshing and accomplishing. We got back to Connecticut about 5 Sunday night and went to the movies with Heather, Sarah, and Matt. That was an alright night, but made me pissy. Nothing important at all. Monday, I sat home all day. I was supposed to be by myself, but Craig was sick, so we both sat on the couch watching rap videos all day. We both went to Pablo's house after and hung out with Pablo, Jerry, and Shelby. After that, I met up with Katie so she could give me fliers for the show. Thor showed up, and slept over my house. Tuesday morning I dyed his hair and talked to Xavier. It was really nice hearing from him and it cheered me up. Around 5:30, me and Thor went back to his house. I slept over that night and we rented May and Hostel. May was an excellent movie, but I missed most of Hostel. I'll have to rent it some other time when there are no distractions. I went back to my house on Wednesday and went to my therapist. I honestly didn't have much to talk about, but I found stuff. I can always find something to talk about. Jenna, my mom, Craig, and I went to our friend's house to have a delicious Jamaican meal. It was excellent. Jenna and I slept at her dad's house that night and I through up around 12. I bet it was the best birthday present she got. =). Thursday morning, Laf made us an excellent breakfast. Jenna invited me to go out for sushi with her later that night, but I didn't want a repeat of the previous night, so I declined. I felt horrible after, but she understood. When I got home, I hung out for a while and ended up going to Pablo's house. I hung out with Jerry, Pablo, and Jordan. It was enjoyable. I got home around 7, and Katie called me and invited me to sleep over her house. Her and Brad picked me up and we went to her house. Friday, we mostly hung out at the German Club all day. It ended up being a good show. We got home around midnight and I went straight to bed because I was about ready to pass out. Saturday I went home between 1 and 2. My dad told me about my cousin's graduation party and I invited Jenna to come. She slept over Saturday night, and we spiked her hair into a faux hawk. Sunday we went to the party. Jenna's boyfriend rode his bike and we hung out at the playground. Sunday night I slept over Sniz's house and we practiced beautiful music. We were going to record, but we didn't. Monday Heather called me and invited me to a Stressbomb show. My mom said no, and I completely understood why. Sniz slept over. Today I didn't do much. Hung out with Sniz. Brought her home. Came home. Now I'm in serious need of :1. a nap. 2. an "in depth" conversation. 3. a shower. 4. a hair-cut.
Now, I'm out of words, and exhausted. I really just want to stay home for the next few days. Friday, I'm going back up to New Hampshire, and Monday, I'm flying out to Ohio. I'm scared shitless of flying. I think I'm gonna go ask my mom if I can get my hair cut tomorrow night. I really want to hang out with Xavier, So maybe I'll call him.
Whoever reads this, take care. please.
♥ |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 7th, 2006|05:56 pm] |
Funny how you go back and read through your journal. I remember that one time I was having a super life.
"If something horrible happens, I might shrink, run away, and jump into a river."
I've definately have begun shrinking. Oh jesus. I hope I don't re-inflate in water.
"It just takes sometime, little girl you're in the middle of the ride, everything everything will be just fine, everything, everything will be alright."
God, do I hope they're right. |
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| Something's in the way. |
[Jun. 7th, 2006|05:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | No where. At all. | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Dance, Motherfucker, Dance!- Violent Femmes | ] |
Death is a fact that you have to accept. I've been told this plenty of times the past year. I've also have been told to move on.. and how "they wouldn't want to see you so upset all the time." Well.. death is a hard fact to accept. One of the most difficult I imagine. When people tell me they "understand what I'm going through", instantly I know they're lying. Did their best friend die at the beginning of the summer before Freshman year?
No. I honestly don't think so.
I feel so alone. Quite often. I don't know where I want to be right now. I know I don't want to be here, but when I think of where I want to be, I draw a total blank. I think of how it would be if I lived somewhere else. I'd miss my family. I wouldn't kill myself though.. ever. I wouldn't even intentionally harm myself. Not that anyone reads this. Actually.. why do I even write in here? Does anyone read it? Please tell me.
I think I want to stay at someone's house for a few days. Just to escape from a few things. But I really don't know who would want me couch surfing at there house.. I mean I have to go to school. School's a priority. And I only have TWO school days left. The rest is exams. Then it's summer. Summer.. hmm.. I don't know why I'm looking forward to it so much. Usually I sit home all summer, and mostly watch my brother. I love my brother, but I honestly don't enjoy watching him.. everyday of the summer. But.. I guess I have nothing better to do. I end up sitting on the computer anyways. But this summer should be eventful. I'm going to Ohio. And staying with Heather. I miss her so much. I really cannot wait to see her. It's the only thing I really want right now. I mean.. I know I want other stuff.. but I can't quite place what I want.
This is where I stop.
I'm going to go study for exams.. or something. To get my head out of the clouds. I hope.
Probably not.
-Miranda.
Dear Nick,
I really miss you. Please help me get through these next few days. I could really use a kick in the ass. I'm so tired and.. I need a boost. A smile. Something. Anything.
I love you. Alot. And miss you.
Take care pal,
Love Always,
Miranda. |
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| memories. all alone inthe moon light. something de do da da |
[Jun. 4th, 2006|02:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | sore | ] |
i found this from my other journal. man what a fun time...
"Amanda and me left and Amanda dropped me off at Brendies house. Brenda, as usual, was complaining aobut something..I wasnt paying attention though. and Heather, surprisingly, was play Harvest Moon. lol it was sooo funny watching her play cause she wanted a cow and couldnt get enough money. Finally she got enough money and the guy said "You can't get one cause you dont have enough Grass" and Heather got MAD at that. So she started planting grass and decided she wanted to add on to her house..what a GREAT IDEA. lol (shes laughing behind me as i type this) While she was chopping wood and cutting grass and getting 2 eggs from her 2 pathetic chickens, she decided she wanted to be a Chicken Farmer. Well, she got up to 12 chickens. And all while she was doing this she wanted to get married. To some chick with orange hair named Ann. lol she would go to the bar and talk to Ann's dad. OH!! and then she found this little secret passage with these little Elves. And then James called. And then Brenda complained. And then Evan called and gave me a high five through the phone. Then Brenda complained. lol And Brenda burnt our fabulous dinner...Cinnamin buns. lol Now Heather and I decided I needed a live journal. We were going to watch a movie but there were no good ones. Oh man...what a wild day. And Its not over yet.
PLANS FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT: 1. When Brenda is DEEP, DEEP in sleep...we SPRAY HER WITH A WATER GUN!! AND/OR ANTIQUE HER!!!! Me and Heather ALWAYS have the best ways for annoying Brenda. lol one day, we cleaned the house and cooked her a NICE meal..what does she do when she walks through the front door? COMPLAINS! Oh man..if you REALLY wanna hear Brenda complain, ask her about her joy ride with Jay and Auntie Karen! lol...i'm not even going to get into that. Well..umm..thats enough for one entry i suppose..today was awesome and i really dont want vacation to end :( Later"
LOL Good times with Brendy. |
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| Thrift store shoppin and magazine browsin |
[May. 26th, 2006|07:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my bummmmm | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nothing yet.. | ] |
Have you ever been to a thrift store and found a pair of pants that you gave them?
What did you feel like after?
Please, tell me. |
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| kill the poor |
[May. 9th, 2006|04:43 pm] |
fricken stuck outside all day in the rain im cold and wet but i had time to think during school and this is what happened:
forever unnoticed,
everyday's the same.
love is forgotten
inside i weep,
calling your name
i began to scream.
and then i realize
it's only a dream
.resol.oduoyfiresolaoslaerauoy.wonkemteltieesuoyfi.edocasiereht. |
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| Just to let everyone know. |
[May. 8th, 2006|04:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | But Julian...- Courtney Love | ] |
I've given up on keeping track of what I do and stuff.
When summer's out, I'll start keeping track again.
♥ |
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| Oooh It makes me wonder.. |
[May. 2nd, 2006|03:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nauseated | ] |
My mom told me something today and it got me thinking. An older man went to the hospital as a Psych. patient today. He said there was a man sitting on his shoulder named Al telling him to do stuff.
Maybe he was making it up to escape the world.
Maybe he wasn't lying. |
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| Update |
[Apr. 25th, 2006|05:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home.. =/ | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Down on the World Again- Social D | ] |
So I left off on Tuesday. And that's where I'll start off.
Tuesday: I'm pretty sure I did nothing. It was a boring stupid day. I went to Sniz's house with Jenna around 6ish. We ate cinamin swirl bread and drank juice and watched Crash and The Dead Zone. Both very good movies. And yea.. I didn't sleep over though because I had to watch Craig Wed. morning. So me and Jenna made plans.
Wednesday: Craig went to the beach or fishing with my aunt. He came home around 1ish? I sat on the computer all day again. This neighbor hood really needs some cool kids so I can hang out with them. Or soemthing like that. Nothing really happened. Everyone came home and I ate dinner and watched the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. THEN it got exciting (FINALLY!). I went to Jenna's dad's house. LOL. Enough said. I walked in and me and Jenna sat around. And then her dad goes "GIRLS! ASK ME ABOUT HOT POCKETS! COM'N ASK ME ABOUT HOT POCKETS!!" So we're like "Ok.. what about Hot Pockets?" and he started singing "HOT POCKETS! ARE FOR DINNER TONIGHT!" IT WAS SOO FUNNY!!! Then he left and me and Jenna went on the computer. We watched a stand up comedian and he was quite funny. He kept cracking jokes about polars bears which leads me to believe he was on crack. Her dad came home with a pizza and we basically ate the whole thing. We stayed up mad late. Oh yea.. at 1 am we decided we wanted to call Pablo. Jenna calls, he answer and Jenna says,"Who's this?". Pablo goes, "ISH PABLO!!" We laughed about that for about 20 minutes. Then we started laughing about this picture of him after he came home from the war. Then we called Thor. Yup.. skip button. Uh.. we finally went to bed at about 3. We didn't stay up for 4:20am.
Thursday: Woke up at like 10 or earlier. I went home around 1ish because they had to do soemthing else. I cleaned my room when I got home and laid in the sun for a little bit because my house was cold. Yup.. cleaned my room so I could go to Pablo's house. That was fun. We really didn't do anything. Took a walk. Jenna called me. Talked to her for like.. 2 minutes. Oh yea, Jordan was there. Then we watched Johnson Family Vacation. Then I got a thought (GASP). Does the word "verizon" come from the words "Vertical" and "Horizon"? I still haven't figured it out. Whatever though. We went to bed around 11 or 12.. or 1.
Friday: Woke up mad early because I had to leave.. mad early. I took a shower around 7, and dyed Aunt Karen's hair. Uncle Al dropped me off at home. I stayed home for like.. 20-30 minutes. I packed clean clothes and left for Thor's. Um.. Hm.. We didn't do much. Hung out with Geoff. Uh.. watched Wayne's World! Woo. Hm.. OH YEA. We saw Silent Hill. I only jumped like.. 3 times. Haha. It was a good movie. Hm.. what else. Went to his house? Went to sleep?
Saturday: Uh.. didn't get out of bed til 12. Ate Cheeze Itz for breakfast. Stink Face slept so I watched Fairly Odd Parents, then The X's (WHICH IS A MADD COOL SHOW!!)and then Danny Phantom. Then Thor got up. And um.. hmm. we didn't do anything all day. Like.. nothing. Went home around.. 8:30? Craig wasn't home. Went on the computer.
Sunday: Was supposed to get my ear pierced, but I slept late. Uh.. then.. I really don't remember. I hung around all day, dreading school. Sewed soem pants (Which i still have to finish and sew a skirt.. ugh). Hm. That's it.
Monday: Went to school. Was depressed all day. Just thinking about everything.. and being school really squished any hope of a happy day. Went to Wal*Mart. Got my ear pierced. Hurts.. liek crazy. But the pain didn't bother me. I could say "Look.. this is what hurts, this is where it hurts, and this is why it hurts." Easy. Um.. did my homework. Like.. actually did it. Talked to Thor. Went to sleep.
Tuesday: Woke up, didn't sleep much. My ear hurts.. bad. Went to school. Had art. Had study Hall. Had lunch. Went to a doctor's appointment after school. My doctor's pretty rad. We talked about local bands. Hm.. came home. Went on the computer.. and forgot my bookbag in my mom's car. So now I have NOTHING to do. And I'm on the computer. But I'm tempted to go sew.. or something. I don't even know.
Friday I might go up to MA. My great-grandma died.. and there's no service. But she deserves to be with family when she's burried/laid to rest. I'm kinda not sure what to even begin to think about that. I honestly don't know. But when I do think about it, I get confused, mad, angry, sad, etc.
I have to go do something.
♥? |
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| ZOMBIE!! |
[Apr. 22nd, 2006|09:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | CRAZY RAP!!!- AFROO MANN!!! | ] |
OH SHIIIIIT!!!!!!
ZOMBIE'S GAY!!!! HAHAHAH!! HE HAS A CRUSH ON MY OTHER MALE CAT (HIS BROTHER!!!!), REDRED!!!!
Talk about Greek Mythology.
♥ |
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| Show me, show me, show me.. |
[Apr. 18th, 2006|07:18 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My bum =) | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | But Julian, I'm a Little Bit Older Than You- Ms. Love | ] |
Alright vacation's been pretty boring so far, but there is not enough time to do everything one needs to do while on vacation. Thursday night I did nothing. Friday I went to Thor's all day. Pablo called me a billion times, but I missed his call each time. I called him back and he wanted me to go to the movies, but I was with Thor, so I didn't. Saturday I really don't remember what happened. Not for any reason, but just beceause I can't remember. OH YEA! I went to Wal*Mart at like 8 on the a.m. with my mommy. We didn't get home until 9ish and then when I got home I was PISSED at my dad. He took all the Grateful Dead stickers off his car =/. Oh well.. I'm going to the store, buying more, and putting them on. Plus I'm going to paint the dancing bears on it. That will teach him to mess with my stickers. =P Then I just sat in my house for awhile. I was SUPER hyper because I got a coffeeeeeee. So I cleaned my room. Then I got tired, so I stopped cleaning my room (and it's still not clean). I went on the computer and was talking to Thor and he said some 860 number tried calling him and the number sounded familiar. I went and grabbed my phone to see who's number it was and I had a billion voicemails and missed calls. Brad and Katie were called to drop off fliers. I hung outside and napped on my swing waiting for them to show up. They dropped off the fliers and we hung out for a few minutes. It was good seeing them. I don't get to see them enough. After they dropped the fliers off I went to Pablo's. =)))). I got there and Alex was there and I yelled at him because he's always there now. Me and Pablo hung out for a while. We went out for a walk in the woods and we were sitting around some rocks and Alex goes "LOOK AT THE FROG!!" and I was like "WAHT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THERE IS NO FROG!!" I finally saw the frog. It was sitting on a rock. Oh wait. IT WAS A TOAD.. NOT A FROG! Pablo took a picture of it with Alex's phone. BRENDA CALLED ME! I didn't feel like talking to her though because I hate talking on my phone in the woods. lol I don't know.. I just don't like talking on the phone. We went back to Pablo's house and we were all sitting around. Alex and Kevin were playing Halo and me and Pablo were on the computer. All of a sudden we hear this LOUD BOOM. Kevin and Alex run onto the couch and me and Pablo darted into the living room. We were all running around like crazy ducking for cover or something. I don't even know what we were doing.. but we all ran into the living room. We lost power for about a minute and then it came back. After taht we sat around for about 10 minutes laughing about it and re-living it. It kinda scared me.. lol. The power came back on and we all went back to doing what we were doing. Then we decided we wanted to go to the movies. Alex and Kevin were goign to come too. Kevin and Pablo got into an argument, meaning Kevin and Alex didn't go. It was nice just hanging out with Pablo. Scary Movie 4 kinda sucked, but whatever. I didn't pay for it. Gift Cards =). I didn't get home until 10ish? And I went to bed. My brother woke me up mad early Sunday. We all sat around in the living room. Went to my Grandma's. Ate delicious food. Hung out with Aunt Dot and Bette. Went to Grandpa's. Hung out with Uncle JR. LOL oh man, me and him were sitting in the living room watching the tube. We were talking about something and he goes "Yea, ideas are always popping in and out of my head. Surprised my brain hasn't." And I go "Yea.. that popped out along time ago!" and he goes "nothin' but bong resin in there" lol it was so weird to hear him say that. I thought it was pretty funny. We laughed about it for 10 minutes. Then we went home. I painted and talked to Thor. Uh.. I was home alone from like 7 to 10ish. I started freaking out. I hate benig home alone at night. Anyhow.
Monday (yesterday) I went to Thor's. We went to his gramma's and planted a garden haha. It was pretty fun. He found a beer can and cut the top off and planted a flower in it. Then he gave it to this Grandpa as a gift. Nice kid .. haha. We rented Saw. It really wasn't as scary or violent or gorey as I thought it would be. It was still a really good movie though.
Hm.. that's it. For now.
OH YEA.. MY DAD TOOK THE DAY OFF "SICK" AND NOW HE WONT TAKE ME TO THE STORE BECAUSE HE'S "SICK!"!! HOW LAME IS THAT?!
♥ |
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| Chicca-pow-pow-chicca-pow |
[Apr. 11th, 2006|03:54 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My bum | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | satisfied | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Easy Skanking- Bob Marley | ] |
I don't even remember the last time I updated. Probably last monday, because I stayed home. I hate using the excuse of being "too sad to go to school", but some days, that's the reason. I really don't like anyone in this town. Everyone is stuck up and if you're different, you're the target of being made fun of. To me, it's lame. Why tear someone else down to bring yourself up? Maybe you should get friends and stop stressing out about what you look like. Maybe, JUST maybe you'll feel more confident about yourself. So what if I don't shower everyday. So what if I want to wear my pajamas to school. So what if I wanted to dye my hair blonde. SO WHAT! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME, SO LEAVE ME ALONE! I really want to punch people in the face when they pick on other people. One of these days I am. Then I'll never have to take the bus. Or perhaps go to school.
I haven't seen my headdoctor in about ... 5 weeks? Maybe she forgot about me. Who knows. Maybe it was all in my head. Maybe I'll go to her on Friday.
Zombie's crying. It bugs me when he does. It's because he can't find his brother. Just like the guy who keeps calling me. He has the wrong phone number, but he keeps calling and leaving messages to his brother. I don't have the nerve to call him. Maybe I should.. just so he knows. I hope his brother calls him though.
I really want to lay in a large empty feild and just stare at the clouds or whatever happens to be in the sky right now. Theres a feild near my house. I drive by it but I don't know what's in it. I'm pretty sure it's empty. I'm hoping its grassy, and not completely dirt. If it was dirt, I wouldn't be able to just lay in it. Perhaps I'll bring a guitar.
Spring is here. Which is good.. I'm getting happier, yet more anxious. I'm missing something.. someone. Nick. That's why I've been a totally different person lately. I'm not blaming him though. Nothing's his fault. I've been more in touch with my spirits. Call me crazy, but it's true. I've been really happy at times and being school doesn't even bother me. But other times.. I just want to kill a rabbit and walk away and not talk to anyone. I want to sit in a cave and be in complete darkness.. and alone. Today is just a mixed day. I'm definately not sad. But I'm not happy. I'm really tired actually. I slept incredibly well last night, but I'm still exhausted.
I get to go to "Rehab" tomorrow. "Physical therapy" in a "rehabilitation center". I don't think you can call it physical therapy. The door says "Physical and Occupational Therapy". Maybe I'm having Occupational therapy? I still don't understand how this is going to help my dizzy spells. Although I haven't been dizzy since I started getting out of the other side of the bed.
Zombie wont stop crying.
Well.. I think I'm going to go re-arrange my room. I need something new. The newest thing I have is bonde hair.. and it's dirty. I'm going to go make something new and clean.
Or start cleaning, make a mess, and just go to sleep. Who knows.
No one.
♥ |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 3rd, 2006|12:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bad Touch- Bloodhound Gang | ] |
I honestly don't feel like doing much of anything anymore. So I started off with not going to school. I'm going to miss too much time and not get any credit. Boo.
Back to bed? |
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xreturnofthefly's journal
thoughtful
hungry
